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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Narnia Targeted To Christians

The film adaptation of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, the first installment of the Chronicles Of Narnia series, is being marketed strongly to a Christian audience. What do you think?
  • "Do they realize this movie is all about people coming out of closets?"

    Marta Osburn Travel Agent
  • "It's high time we Christians fought back against those Hollywood elitists with our own movie about sorcery and witchcraft."

    Harry Sousa Solderer
  • "Instead, they should market King Kong to Christians. Wouldn't it be awesome if Jesus were an enormous, rampaging ape?"

    Cody Slaughter Sales Agent

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