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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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NASA Asks For Selfies To Celebrate Earth Day

As part of today’s Earth Day celebrations, NASA has asked people across the world to take a “selfie” in nature and post it on social media under the hashtag #globalselfie, which will then be used to create a mosaic of earth. What do you think?

  • “I’ve always wanted NASA to know what I look like!”

    Felicity McPherson Respiratory Therapist
  • “There should be one monkey face, too.”

    Todd Bridges Unemployed
  • “I hope NASA has a plan to filter out the uggos.”

    William Greer Shrimp Picker

More from this section

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.

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