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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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NASA Asks For Selfies To Celebrate Earth Day

As part of today’s Earth Day celebrations, NASA has asked people across the world to take a “selfie” in nature and post it on social media under the hashtag #globalselfie, which will then be used to create a mosaic of earth. What do you think?

  • “I’ve always wanted NASA to know what I look like!”

    Felicity McPherson Respiratory Therapist
  • “There should be one monkey face, too.”

    Todd Bridges Unemployed
  • “I hope NASA has a plan to filter out the uggos.”

    William Greer Shrimp Picker

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