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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.
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NASA Asks Public To Vote On New Spacesuit

NASA has announced that it wants the public’s input to select the cover layer design for its next-generation spacesuit called the Z-2, which will eventually replace the bulky white designs of current models. What do you think?

  • “Voting online? The future really has arrived!”

    Brandon Jacobs Building Supervisor
  • “All right, I’ll help out. But NASA is going to owe me big time.”

    Miguel Arroz Staffing Associate
  • “Are you sure they want us to decide? We’re idiots.”

    Krystal Warner Course Registrar

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