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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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NASA Developing 3D Food Printer

Aiming to feed astronauts efficiently on long space missions in the future, NASA has awarded a $125,000 grant to develop a printer that can create three-dimensional food items, which will use cartridges containing edible powders that have a shelf life of 30 years. What do you think?

  • “Ooh, if I were one of the astronauts, I’d make everything into a fun otter shape.”

    Mel Kivel Wicker Worker
  • “It’s kind of heartening to know that, just like us, future astronauts will be eating complete shit as well.”

    Dick Holmes Thermometer Maker
  • “I usually try not to eat anything that’s more than five years old.”

    Deirdre Lounsbery Gold Stamper

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