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NASA: Humans Will Find Aliens Within Next 20 Years

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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NASA: Humans Will Find Aliens Within Next 20 Years

A panel of NASA scientists announced this week that they estimate humans will encounter extraterrestrials within the next 20 years, predicting that as many as 100 million worlds in the Milky Way may have alien life. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, well they better be full-sized aliens, not some microorganism bullshit.”

    Malcolm Russell Takeout Order Dispatcher
  • “Not good enough. I want a specific date.”

    Kyle Marsden Unemployed
  • “Those extraterrestrials could be looking for us as well. I hope they leave a few folks at home so someone’s there to meet us when we get there."

    McKenzie Bartlett Hospital Scrubs Designer

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