NASA: Humans Will Find Aliens Within Next 20 Years

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Vol 50 Issue 28

Snowden: NSA Agents Pass Around Nude Photos

In an interview with The Guardian, NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden revealed that some U.S. intelligence agents routinely pass around nude photos and other “sexually compromised” images they discover while spying on targets.

Mom $15,000 In The Hole With Ceramic Frog Dealer

Everyone in the Middle East is given their own country in a 317,000,000-state solution, NASA announces plans to launch a chimpanzee into the sun, and a local mom is $15,000 in the hole with her ceramic frog dealer.

Marriage Going To Be Hard To Go Back To On Monday

EAST HARTFORD, CT—Thinking wearily of the moment when he would have to return to the daily grind, local man Dan Zageris is already dreading going back to his marriage Monday, sources confirmed this weekend.

KKK Recruiting Kids By Handing Out Candy

According to residents of a South Carolina town, the Ku Klux Klan has been attempting to recruit children into its ranks by going to neighborhoods and leaving out bags of candy containing slips of paper with the words “Save Our Land, Join The Klan...
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NASA: Humans Will Find Aliens Within Next 20 Years

A panel of NASA scientists announced this week that they estimate humans will encounter extraterrestrials within the next 20 years, predicting that as many as 100 million worlds in the Milky Way may have alien life. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, well they better be full-sized aliens, not some microorganism bullshit.”

    Malcolm Russell
    Takeout Order Dispatcher
  • “Not good enough. I want a specific date.”

    Kyle Marsden
    Unemployed
  • “Those extraterrestrials could be looking for us as well. I hope they leave a few folks at home so someone’s there to meet us when we get there."

    McKenzie Bartlett
    Hospital Scrubs Designer
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