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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.
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NASA: Industrial Societies Headed For Collapse

A new study funded by NASA posits that modern industrial society is headed toward extinction due to humans rapidly depleting the earth’s resources, which will soon lead to “inequality-induced famine.” What do you think?

  • “I turn the water off while I’m brushing my teeth, so the blood’s not on my hands.”

    William Lets Program Coordinator
  • “Hmm, seems like the space guys need to mind their own fucking business and focus on space.”

    Michael Nash Acting Coach
  • “Whoa! NASA’s gotten sassy.”

    Cynthia Kirkland Necklace Designer

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