NASA: Industrial Societies Headed For Collapse

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Vol 50 Issue 11

Cheddar Cheese Prices Skyrocket Due To Chinese Demand

The Dairy Export Council reported this week that the cost of cheddar cheese climbed 18 percent this year to its highest price ever because domestic manufacturers have been unable to meet the demand for cheese by Chinese purchasers.

Lowly Mortal Opens Portal To Hell

John Kerry poses as a masseuse to get a few minutes with Putin, parents reminisce to their children about the dating algorithm that brought them together, and a lowly mortal opens a portal to hell.

Surge Answered With Rally

SAN DIEGO—With a succession of quick baskets during the NCAA Tournament Friday, sources confirmed that a surge was quickly answered by a rally.

Sleep Loss Can Cause Brain Damage

A study published this week in the journal Neuroscience found that inconsistent sleep patterns, including not sleeping enough and sleeping erratic hours, can result in an irreversible loss of brain neurons.
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Race Relations

NASA: Industrial Societies Headed For Collapse

A new study funded by NASA posits that modern industrial society is headed toward extinction due to humans rapidly depleting the earth’s resources, which will soon lead to “inequality-induced famine.” What do you think?

  • “I turn the water off while I’m brushing my teeth, so the blood’s not on my hands.”

    William Lets
    Program Coordinator
  • “Hmm, seems like the space guys need to mind their own fucking business and focus on space.”

    Michael Nash
    Acting Coach
  • “Whoa! NASA’s gotten sassy.”

    Cynthia Kirkland
    Necklace Designer
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