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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Trump Plans To ‘Drain The Swamp’

One of Donald Trump’s central presidential campaign promises was to “drain the swamp” by ridding Washington politics of corruption and corporate influence. Here’s how he plans to do it.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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NASA: Industrial Societies Headed For Collapse

A new study funded by NASA posits that modern industrial society is headed toward extinction due to humans rapidly depleting the earth’s resources, which will soon lead to “inequality-induced famine.” What do you think?

  • “I turn the water off while I’m brushing my teeth, so the blood’s not on my hands.”

    William Lets Program Coordinator
  • “Hmm, seems like the space guys need to mind their own fucking business and focus on space.”

    Michael Nash Acting Coach
  • “Whoa! NASA’s gotten sassy.”

    Cynthia Kirkland Necklace Designer

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