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New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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NASA Offering $18K To Stay In Bed For 70 Days

NASA researchers will pay volunteers $18,000 to stay for 10 weeks in a bed inclined at six degrees, such that subjects’ feet are higher than their heads, which simulates cardiovascular conditions seen in space. What do you think?

  • “By my accounting, someone already owes me like eleven grand.”

    Spencer Kane Casting Agent
  • “Six-degree incline? Forget it.”

    Wayne Martin Trench Coat Designer
  • “Dang. And all this time I’ve been letting my muscles atrophy for free.”

    Eve Irwin Systems Analyst

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