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A Primer On The Dark Web

With many crimes now originating on encrypted areas of the internet, many wonder about the so-called dark web and its activities. The Onion provides a primer on this obscured digital space:

Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.
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NASA Running Out Of Fuel

NASA is running short of plutonium-238, the fuel needed in deep space missions, because nuclear warhead production has slowed dramatically since the end of the Cold War. What do you think?
  • “If they don’t have any plutonium, maybe they could just use a bolt of lightning, like in Back To The Future.”

    Francis Penn Systems Analyst
  • "This is really pretty simple: We need to start up the Cold War again. And while we're at it, let’s go back to leaded gasoline."

    Christine Safrey Elevator Inspector
  • "Can't we just microwave some plutonium-229?"

    Alton Ramos Road Grader
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