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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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NASA Seeking Astronauts

Faced with a potential shortfall of qualified personnel, NASA is currently accepting new applications for its astronaut-training program. What do you think?

  • “Perfect! I've had a hard time finding work, and it would be nice to keep the family in Houston.”

    Luke Avsec Unemployed
  • "I’ve always dreamed of going into space. Then I wipe the sweat off my brow and try to get back to sleep."

    Keith Hoenes Inseam Trimmer
  • "In the application, can you state that, instead of being sent to Mars, you'd prefer being miniaturized and injected into someone's bloodstream?"

    Rebecca McClain Attorney

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