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NASA Selling Space Shuttle Facilities

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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NASA Selling Space Shuttle Facilities

Following the termination of its space shuttle program, NASA is seeking to sell or lease many of its facilities in Cape Canaveral, FL, including hangars, a nearly three-mile landing strip, and the shuttle launchpad. What do you think?

  • “This is the perfect gift for the person who has everything, including a space shuttle.”

    Isabel Benitez Wax Pourer
  • “Is this for real? Because I don’t want to get burned like that time I tried to buy a spaceship hangar off of Craigslist.”

    Mike Cusack Bill Clerk
  • “Can the facilities fit my queen-sized bed? I won’t consider it unless it can fit my queen-sized bed. I love that bed.”

    Curtis Slade Athletic Director

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