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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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NASA Selling Space Shuttle Facilities

Following the termination of its space shuttle program, NASA is seeking to sell or lease many of its facilities in Cape Canaveral, FL, including hangars, a nearly three-mile landing strip, and the shuttle launchpad. What do you think?

  • “This is the perfect gift for the person who has everything, including a space shuttle.”

    Isabel Benitez Wax Pourer
  • “Is this for real? Because I don’t want to get burned like that time I tried to buy a spaceship hangar off of Craigslist.”

    Mike Cusack Bill Clerk
  • “Can the facilities fit my queen-sized bed? I won’t consider it unless it can fit my queen-sized bed. I love that bed.”

    Curtis Slade Athletic Director

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