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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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NASA Selling Space Shuttle Facilities

Following the termination of its space shuttle program, NASA is seeking to sell or lease many of its facilities in Cape Canaveral, FL, including hangars, a nearly three-mile landing strip, and the shuttle launchpad. What do you think?

  • “This is the perfect gift for the person who has everything, including a space shuttle.”

    Isabel Benitez Wax Pourer
  • “Is this for real? Because I don’t want to get burned like that time I tried to buy a spaceship hangar off of Craigslist.”

    Mike Cusack Bill Clerk
  • “Can the facilities fit my queen-sized bed? I won’t consider it unless it can fit my queen-sized bed. I love that bed.”

    Curtis Slade Athletic Director
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