NASA To Send New Rover To Mars In 2020

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Vol 48 Issue 49

Chad Greene and Danielle Faye

Chad Greene and Danielle Faye were married before friends and family this weekend, but as of press time it was not known if the ceremony was beautiful.

Oscar Mayer Unveils New Weiner Drone

The 15-year-old Duchess of McComb, Alabama announces her pregnancy, a 38-year-old little boy posts a picture of a fast car he likes on Facebook, and the nation's hardass cops finally find time to play games.

Pot, Gay Marriage Now Legal In Washington

Same-sex marriage licenses became available in Washington state yesterday at 12:01 a.m., and at the same time, a voter-backed law decriminalizing the recreational use of marijuana took effect.

Chris Christie Dreaming About 72-Inch Springsteen Sub

TRENTON, NJ—Slowly licking his lips and salivating as he indulged his imagination, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly spent most of Friday afternoon alone in his office daydreaming about a mouthwatering 72-inch Springsteen sub.
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NASA To Send New Rover To Mars In 2020

Following the success of its Curiosity rover, which has made key discoveries about the past existence of liquid water on the surface of Mars, NASA announced its intention to send another large rover to the Red Planet in the year 2020. What do you think?

  • “Ha, ha, ha! Like NASA is going to be around in 2020.”

    Ralph Roth
    Homicide Squad Sargeant
  • “That’s stupid. Can’t NASA think of any other planets?”

    Olga Swan
    Embossing Machine Operator
  • “Wow, what an amazing idea. Have they considered sending a third one after that?”

    Thad Slevin
    Meat Smoker
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