adBlockCheck

NASCAR's New Electric Pace Car

Top Headlines

Sports

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

NASCAR's New Electric Pace Car

  • "Thanks, NASCAR! The Talladega environment is saved forever!"

  • "As a NASCAR fan, I feel for all the pace car drivers who will have to be laid off because they aren't homosexual."

  • "Hey, anything we can do to anger the South is okay with me."

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close