National Dog Bite Prevention Week Begins

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Disney Unveils First Virgin Princess

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • The Onion’s Guide To Beach Etiquette

    The arrival of summer means that the nation’s beaches will soon be crowded with swimmers, tanners, surfers, and more, so it’s important for everyone to be conscious of each other’s space and needs. Here are some etiquette tips to ensure that everyone has a safe and relaxing time at the beach:

National Dog Bite Prevention Week Begins

This week is National Dog Bite Prevention Week, which aims to reduce the 4.5 million dog bites that occur in the United States every year. What do you think?

  • "Someday we'll have enough 'Beware of Dog' signs to finally put this menace to rest."

    Simon Shollenberger
    Systems Analyst
  • "I told the guys we should have scheduled Rabies Contraction Week in October, but does anyone listen?"

    Kathleen Giska
    Packer
  • "Okay, fine, but next week I'm going back to being bitten."

    Franklin Mastrian
    Luggage Checker
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