National Meat Surplus

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City Adds Some Big Concrete Stairs

They’re For Sitting On Or Running Up Or Something

CHICAGO—Noting the structure’s considerable size and prominent location in a busy public park, local residents confirmed Tuesday that the city had installed some big concrete stairs that were probably for sitting on or running up or something like that.
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National Meat Surplus

Pork profits are substantially lower than last year because of a massive meat surplus. What do you think?
  • "I have just the tonic for a stagnant market in pork—product placement. The new Charlotte's Web movie is coming out this Christmas. Problem solved!"

    Lulu Quisling
  • "Buy low, sell high. This is the investment opportunity of a lifetime!"

    Herb LaFayette
  • "I don't want to hear any more about this. I'm already eating as much bacon as I possibly can."

    Chuck Gimmino
    Copy-Shop Clerk