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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Nation’s Doctors Classify Obesity As Disease

At their annual meeting this week, the American Medical Association officially recognized obesity, which affects about a third of all Americans, as a disease. What do you think?

  • “So the first lady has just been hassling a bunch of sick kids?”

    Margo Leder Orchestra Conductor
  • “I hope this means I can get my insurance company to pay for some wider pants.”

    Lewis Pontrelli Ribbon Winder
  • “Fat people don’t deserve any more sympathy than they already get.”

    Terry Chooljian Flatware Maker
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