Nation’s Doctors Classify Obesity As Disease

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Vol 49 Issue 25

The Onion Will Be Euthanizing People For Free This Sunday

Summer is in full effect! And as the nation gears up for three months of beach excursions, poolside barbecues, and lazy afternoons, The Onion would like to remind its readers that this Sunday we are offering free euthanizations to everyone and anyo...

The Onion’s Tips For Securing The U.S.–Mexico Border

Destroy America’s financial, manufacturing, and healthcare sectors, limiting the amount of reasons to ever come in Place one traffic cone right in front of the existing border fence Impeach President Barack Obama On the Mexico side of the border, h...

All-Female Jury To Try George Zimmerman

A jury consisting of six women will determine whether George Zimmerman was acting lawfully under Florida’s Stand Your Ground law when he shot and killed unarmed 17-year-old Trayvon Martin in his gated community in February 2012.
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Nation’s Doctors Classify Obesity As Disease

At their annual meeting this week, the American Medical Association officially recognized obesity, which affects about a third of all Americans, as a disease. What do you think?

  • “So the first lady has just been hassling a bunch of sick kids?”

    Margo Leder
    Orchestra Conductor
  • “I hope this means I can get my insurance company to pay for some wider pants.”

    Lewis Pontrelli
    Ribbon Winder
  • “Fat people don’t deserve any more sympathy than they already get.”

    Terry Chooljian
    Flatware Maker
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