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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Nation's Power Grid Hacked

According to The Wall Street Journal, the U.S. electrical grid has been compromised by Russian and Chinese cyber-spies, putting the country's infrastructure at risk. What do you think?
  • "These spies must know someone on the inside who revealed America's secret: Everyone here is afraid of the dark."

    Sharon Brown Systems Analyst
  • “I should have known the filthy Ruskies were behind my electricity getting shut off.”

    David Faulkner Cultivation Manager
  • "This always confuses me. Does it mean batteries will still work, or no?"

    Joel Comegys Railroad Crane Operator
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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

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