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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Navy Bans Smoking On Submarines

The U.S. Navy has officially banned smoking on submarines while the crafts are below the surface. What do you think?

  • "I think this is a bad move strategically. They're going to have to surface every hour for smoke breaks."

    Jeff Sherman Unemployed
  • "I'm sure some sailors may be mad about this, but think of it this way: You get to ride on a submarine!"

    Claire Jones Receiving Weigher
  • "Well, that's just great. Now what are sailors supposed to do after they've had sex on a submarine?"

    Ward Banks Machine Marker
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