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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Navy Develops Drone-Destroying Laser Cannon

The U.S. Navy announced the successful development of a powerful laser cannon that is capable of taking down drone aircraft, which will be mounted to the deck of a ship and deployed to the Persian Gulf to deter Iranian aggression. What do you think?

  • “Good. I’ve always said we need more ways to shoot things.”

    Stephanie Sarreal Unemployed
  • “Can’t we for once use a drone-destroying laser cannon for good?”

    Dale Koehler Lithographic Proofer
  • “Just like a Navy man: mounting his laser cannon to a ship rather than freehanding it.”

    Steve Chan Bulldozer Operator
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