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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Neanderthal Man Flocking To Caves

All over Western Europe and Central Asia, Neanderthal man is inhabiting caves in record numbers. What do you think?
  • "Yet so hard to find cave with something nice on wall instead of crude, violent hunting scene."

    Thag Forager
  • "Cave good. Man happy. Need shelves."

    Gron Gatherer
  • "Man no used to need cave. Now, man no survive without it. Life getting too complicated."

    Paulette Spear Maker

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