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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Nebraska State Trooper In Klan

An arbitrator for the state of Nebraska ruled that a state trooper could not be fired for belonging to the Ku Klux Klan. What do you think?
  • "I'm actually fairly impressed with this man. It has to be hard, time-consuming work to be part of two bigoted, fear-mongering groups simultaneously."

    Janelle Draper Judge
  • "Would you rather he vented his racism at unsuspecting motorists on the highway, or in the safe confines of a KKK meeting?"

    Jerry Patrone Poultry Inspector
  • "The last time I checked, no one was forcing blacks or Jews to drive through Nebraska. So what exactly is the issue?"

    Neil Gruber Tax Attorney

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