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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.
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Nepal Issues IDs With 'Third Gender' Option

In what is being hailed as a major victory for transgender activists, the Himalayan nation of Nepal began issuing citizenship certificates that allow the holder to select the option “third gender” if they do not identify as male or female. What do you think?

  • “Now where am I supposed to go on vacation? Nepal was my go-to destination for gender certainty.”

    Ty Cangemi Cabana Attendant
  • “Sure, this is great for men, women, and the third-gendered, but when will we humanimals finally get the recognition we deserve?”

    Bobbi Dee Wischnack Sock Examiner
  • “Now I’m even further from an answer about that Sherpa I traveled with last year.”

    John-Clay Wilhoit Illustrator
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