adBlockCheck

Recent News

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
End Of Section
  • More News

Nestlé Recalls Hot Pockets

Nestlé is voluntarily recalling two varieties of its popular Hot Pockets microwaveable turnovers, “Philly Steak and Cheese” and “Croissant Crust Philly Steak and Cheese,” because they may contain meat from “diseased and unsound” animals. What do you think?

  • “I wasn’t surprised to hear this about the Philly Steak and Cheese Hot Pocket—but the Croissant Crust Philly Steak and Cheese Hot Pocket, too?”

    Martin Conwill Gene Sequencer
  • “I guess their standards for Hot Pockets are a lot higher than mine.”

    David Arrowood Bread Baker
  • “But will they still be selling some of the borderline ones in a bargain bin?”

    Carrie Abaya Bead Store Owner
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close