Netanyahu: Iran 6 Months From Bomb

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Vol 48 Issue 38

The Bird Sniffer

PBS 8:00 p.m. EDT/7:00 p.m. CDT Ornithologist and acclaimed odor-describer Dr. Charles Wemple attempts to get a rare whiff of a freshly hatched ivory-billed woodpecker before the mother pecks the bejeezus out of his face.

Area Mom Was Waiting In The Car For 20 Minutes

LEXINGTON, MA—According to sources within the car-pool lane at Lexington High School, your mom has been waiting for you in the car for over 20 minutes, and now she’s going to be late, which is just great.

That Chair Over There

No one’s using it at the moment. Go ahead, take a seat. You can always get up if someone comes back.
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Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Netanyahu: Iran 6 Months From Bomb

On Meet the Press Sunday, Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu said Iran would have nuclear weapons capability in six to seven months and urged Americans to elect a president who would draw a “red line” against Iranian nuclear ambitions. What do you think?

  • “That’s terrifying! We need to give more money to Israel to make things better.”

    Dorian Halloran
    Plate Glass Glazier
  • “This sounds like a complicated problem that only a president with courage and no diplomatic skills at all could solve.”

    Jaquita Barnoya
    Securities Broker
  • “He’s only saying that because he doesn’t want to die in a nuclear explosion.”

    Zack Orlando
    Pollution Control Engineer
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