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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Netflix Starts Qwikster

In an attempt to rebound from the public relations disaster of the company's poorly-rolled-out price increases, Netflix announced that its newly separate DVD service would be rebranded Qwikster. What do you think?

  • "I can't explain it, but somehow this pointless name change has made me forget all about them doubling my subscription costs."

    Bonnie Wharton Systems Analyst
  • "Why Qwikster? Why not Streamster, or Bustaview? At least those names make sense."

    Tom Broadhurst Battery Loader
  • "No! Don't fall for it! Qwikster is really Netflix, you guys!"

    Chad Northcliffe Reverser

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