Nevada Has Highest Percentage Of Uninsured Children

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After Birth

Siblings Each Hoping Other One Will Take Care Of Aging Parents Someday

CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.

Kids Excited Mom Learning To Swear

PESHTIGO, WI—After a lifetime of assiduously avoiding the use of foul language, Helen Chernak, 59, is finally learning to swear, her delighted offspring reported Monday.

Parents Of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good

WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.

A Look At The Class Of 2020

This year’s incoming college freshmen will comprise the graduating class of 2020, with the majority of them born in 1998. Here are some facts and figures about these students and their worldview:

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run
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Nevada Has Highest Percentage Of Uninsured Children

A Census report says that Nevada leads the nation in uninsured children, with nearly 20 percent lacking health coverage. What do you think?
  • "Good thing my kid's a bully and I don't have to worry about that stuff."

    Jenny Melowic Systems Analyst
  • "This is really only shocking until you hear that 40 percent of children lack health insurance in my family."

    Peter Magas Night Cleaner
  • "As a resident of Mississippi, I can't tell you how proud I am that we didn't finish dead last in a quality-of-life measurement."

    Jason Walter Credit Authorizer

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