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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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New Antibiotic-Resistant Gonorrhea Strain Found

Investigators at the Centers for Disease Control have identified a new strain of gonorrhea that is resistant to the effects of most antibiotics. What do you think?

  • “If only those goddamn bioethicists would quit meddling with my gonorrhea-resistant human research.”

    Allison Stratton Biologist
  • "Hey, ladies, no worries here. My gonorrhea is still 100 percent treatable by cephalosporins. So what do you say, mamacita?"

    Jason Bayley Systems Analyst
  • "Suddenly I don't really want to get gonorrhea anymore."

    Mike Di’Anno Unemployed

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