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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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New Antibiotic-Resistant Gonorrhea Strain Found

Investigators at the Centers for Disease Control have identified a new strain of gonorrhea that is resistant to the effects of most antibiotics. What do you think?

  • “If only those goddamn bioethicists would quit meddling with my gonorrhea-resistant human research.”

    Allison Stratton Biologist
  • "Hey, ladies, no worries here. My gonorrhea is still 100 percent treatable by cephalosporins. So what do you say, mamacita?"

    Jason Bayley Systems Analyst
  • "Suddenly I don't really want to get gonorrhea anymore."

    Mike Di’Anno Unemployed

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