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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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New Barbie Released In Curvy, Petite Forms

With sales on the decline since 2012, Mattel has announced a sweeping redesign of the latest Barbie dolls, which in addition to the classic slender version will now be sold in tall, curvy, and petite sizes for the first time. What do you think?

  • “Finally, a Barbie that comes in all four shapes of woman!”

    Troy Westin Window Dresser
  • “That sounds drastic. Why don’t they just give her a haircut and check the sales numbers in another four years?”

    Emmy Verdin Formula Deviser
  • “This is really going to save me the work of screwing Barbie’s head onto my old Triple H dolls.”

    Braden Hoth Ballot Dimpler
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