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Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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New Book Claims Robert Kennedy Stole JFK’s Brain

According to a new book, President John F. Kennedy’s brain was placed in a container and stored in the National Archives after his assassination, though it was discovered in 1966 that the brain was missing, with signs pointing to his brother Robert Kennedy as the culprit. What do you think?

  • “Ah, Camelot.”

    Lynnanne Segal Systems Analyst
  • “Oh, he probably just wanted to eat the brain and absorb its knowledge.”

    Ross Mann Underwriting Clerk
  • “That’s how you win a sibling rivalry.”

    Jamie O’Reilly Ring Maker

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