adBlockCheck

Recent News

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
End Of Section
  • More News

New Cell Phone Device Processes Credit Cards

Twitter cofounder Jack Dorsey has introduced the Square, a device that plugs into an iPhone or iPod Touch's headphone jack and allows the user to swipe credit cards. What do you think?
  • "Finally. I was getting tired of making my friends pay me in cash every time they wanted to use my phone."

    Gerry Saunders Labeler
  • "I had that idea years ago! I said, 'I should come up with a really great idea. Maybe something to do with a phone?' Damn it. I should have copyrighted that."

    Kay Turner Will-Call Clerk
  • "This is easily going to double my business in piggyback rides."

    Nathan Vockeroth Unemployed
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings