New Drug Lengthens Eyelashes

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Vol 43 Issue 47

Online Couple Never Chats Anymore

Seattle—"Sometimes I wonder what I ever saw in his online profile," said Baxter, who couldn’t remember the last time she and Tim Siegal really ‘LOLed’ together.

What's-His-Face Fires Publicist

LOS ANGELES—What's-his-face, possibly best known for his recurring role in a series of pretty big action movies from the past few years,...

Study: Acupuncture Works

A recent German study demonstrated that acupuncture, even fake acupuncture, worked better than conventional care to relieve chronic back pain. What...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Report: Dad Wants To Show You Where Fuse Box Is

YOUR LOCATION—Noting that it’s important to be prepared in case of emergencies but it’s also a good thing to know in general, your dad announced today that he wants to show you where the fuse box is.

New Drug Lengthens Eyelashes

A glaucoma drug called Lumigan is now being marketed for its side effect of growing eyelashes longer. What do you think?
  • "No thanks. My current glaucoma medication has the more beneficial side effect of getting me high off my ass."

    Jerome Blair
    Mechanic
  • "Why not just come out and say that you don't like my eyelashes?! Oh God, I'm sorry. I just feel so inadequate and angry about my tiny lashes."

    Geoff Hooper
    Window Dresser
  • "After 10 weeks of use, my eyelashes have never been fuller and longer and I am unequivocally a better person because of it."

    Charlotte Tydrich
    Mail Sorter
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