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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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New Drug Lengthens Eyelashes

A glaucoma drug called Lumigan is now being marketed for its side effect of growing eyelashes longer. What do you think?
  • "No thanks. My current glaucoma medication has the more beneficial side effect of getting me high off my ass."

    Jerome Blair Mechanic
  • "Why not just come out and say that you don't like my eyelashes?! Oh God, I'm sorry. I just feel so inadequate and angry about my tiny lashes."

    Geoff Hooper Window Dresser
  • "After 10 weeks of use, my eyelashes have never been fuller and longer and I am unequivocally a better person because of it."

    Charlotte Tydrich Mail Sorter
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