New DVR Can Skip Ads

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Disney Unveils First Virgin Princess

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Family

Report: Dad Wants To Show You Where Fuse Box Is

YOUR LOCATION—Noting that it’s important to be prepared in case of emergencies but it’s also a good thing to know in general, your dad announced today that he wants to show you where the fuse box is.

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

New DVR Can Skip Ads

A new DVR sold by the Dish Network comes with the capability to pass over ads and is sending shockwaves through the television industry. What do you think?

  • “Can it skip shows too? I’m a busy woman.”

    Malika Everhart
    Systems Analyst
  • "OK, but then what happens when you’re at a party and can’t participate in the conversation about Kraft’s new line of marinades?"

    Nels Carroll
    Die Tester
  • "Yeah, right. You spend decades bitching about advertising, then one night on YouTube you suddenly find yourself weeping uncontrollably over old Sears Diehard battery commercials from your childhood."

    Jordan Millkie
    Defect Repairer
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