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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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New DVR Can Skip Ads

A new DVR sold by the Dish Network comes with the capability to pass over ads and is sending shockwaves through the television industry. What do you think?

  • “Can it skip shows too? I’m a busy woman.”

    Malika Everhart Systems Analyst
  • "OK, but then what happens when you’re at a party and can’t participate in the conversation about Kraft’s new line of marinades?"

    Nels Carroll Die Tester
  • "Yeah, right. You spend decades bitching about advertising, then one night on YouTube you suddenly find yourself weeping uncontrollably over old Sears Diehard battery commercials from your childhood."

    Jordan Millkie Defect Repairer

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