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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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New Facebook App Tells You Suitors Waiting

WaitingRoom, a new Facebook application, lets users in a relationship know when other people become interested in them romantically, revealing these secret admirers' identities only when users switch their status to "single." What do you think?

  • "Not for me, thanks. I prefer to let my crush know that I'm interested the old-fashioned way: waiting outside her garage door until she goes to put out the trash, then leaping out at her and giving her a hug."

    Terry Landmark Inlayer
  • "I'm a Southern lady with traditional values. I prefer that prospective gentlemen callers first declare their intentions through my father's Facebook page."

    Danielle Coombs Whiting-Machine Operator
  • "I can't believe it. This is a blatant rip-off of Adult Friendfinder's 'Sloppy Seconds' app."

    Wallace Peters Lawyer

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