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Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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New Genetic Links To Baldness Found

A new report in the journal Nature Genetics points to genetic markers for baldness that could be screened for. What do you think?
  • "One day, perhaps in the near future, we'll be able to tell just by DNA testing who is bald."

    Katie Burns Systems Analyst
  • "These doctors are always one step ahead. Like when I think of curing cancer, they've already moved on to male pattern baldness."

    Chuck Dannan Public Relations
  • "Too bad they didn't discover this before my dad died. That could have significantly reduced the snickering heard as friends and relatives passed the open casket."

    Peter Doan Unemployed

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