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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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New 'Huckleberry Finn' Edited For Language

A new edition of the Mark Twain classic Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, forthcoming next month from NewSouth Books, will replace every use of the word "nigger" with the word "slave." What do you think?

  • "In my classroom, we replace every use of the word ‘slave’ with ‘nigger.’ The only reason I haven't been fired is because no one wants to be a teacher."

    Quentin King Teacher
  • "Oh, please. I thought of that years ago when I took a ballpoint pen and replaced every instance of the word ‘rape’ in The Color Purple with ‘unfortunate sexual happening.’”

    Victor Duprix Hair Stylist
  • "Wait, is that what that word means? I've been using it all wrong."

    Sara Graham Dental Receptionist

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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