adBlockCheck

Recent News

Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
End Of Section
  • More News

New Jersey To Use Military Vehicles As Polling Places

With the election four days away and much of New Jersey still reeling from Hurricane Sandy, state officials announced that military trucks would serve as polling locations in hard-hit areas. What do you think?

  • “I’d really like to vote in a monster truck if that’s in any way possible.”

    Diana Jervoise Systems Analyst
  • “My thoughts and prayers go out to the loved ones of the poor men and women deployed to that terrible, terrible place.”

    Lucas Heeks Inlayer
  • “Thank God this isn’t happening in a state that matters.”

    William Eastmond Lubrication Technician

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close