New Medicare Plan

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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New Medicare Plan

Criticized as needlessly confusing, the new Medicare prescription-drug program, Medicare Part D, went into effect this week. What do you think?
  • "I’ve gone through all the paperwork at least 10 times, but no matter how I fill it out, I always end up on page 35M5, Line 18, which just says 'Fuck You, Grandma.'"

    Michelle Halley
    Crossing Guard
  • "Does this cover the dog’s pills? Because those are the ones I take."

    Cameron Feng
    Systems Analyst
  • "The new Medicare plan is far too difficult to make sense of, which is why I have chosen to die earlier than I had initially planned."

    Ben Chisholm
    Motorcycle Mechanic