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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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New Moon Discovered Orbiting Neptune

While studying pictures of Neptune, astronomer Mark Showalter noticed a small white spot that, upon further investigation, was found to be a previously unknown moon, the planet’s fourteenth, which will go by the designation S/2004 N 1. What do you think?

  • “Earth is such a one-moon joke of a planet.”

    Spencer Lovelady Crystal Inspector
  • “They should name it Anya. I love that name.”

    Sid Kaminsky Actuarial Clerk
  • “Showalter’s done it again!”

    Elizabeth Barbanell Filbert Grower
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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

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