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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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New Moon Discovered Orbiting Neptune

While studying pictures of Neptune, astronomer Mark Showalter noticed a small white spot that, upon further investigation, was found to be a previously unknown moon, the planet’s fourteenth, which will go by the designation S/2004 N 1. What do you think?

  • “Earth is such a one-moon joke of a planet.”

    Spencer Lovelady Crystal Inspector
  • “They should name it Anya. I love that name.”

    Sid Kaminsky Actuarial Clerk
  • “Showalter’s done it again!”

    Elizabeth Barbanell Filbert Grower

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