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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.
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New NPR Head Comes From 'Sesame Street'

National Public Radio announced Sunday that its new CEO would be Gary Knell, CEO of the Sesame Workshop, home of Sesame Street. What do you think?

  • "Shoot. I was really hoping they would hire Catherine Sanchez, executive director of fundraising and donor relations at WQED Pittsburgh."

    Geoff Neeley Rack Loader
  • "As the type of person who ascribes sexual orientations to children's puppets, I'm sure this person is just another left-wing nut who will only further NPR's liberal agenda."

    Violet Anderson Weft Straightener
  • "Just to make sure, somebody's running Sesame Street now, right?"

    Andy Elliman Unemployed

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