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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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New NPR Head Comes From 'Sesame Street'

National Public Radio announced Sunday that its new CEO would be Gary Knell, CEO of the Sesame Workshop, home of Sesame Street. What do you think?

  • "Shoot. I was really hoping they would hire Catherine Sanchez, executive director of fundraising and donor relations at WQED Pittsburgh."

    Geoff Neeley Rack Loader
  • "As the type of person who ascribes sexual orientations to children's puppets, I'm sure this person is just another left-wing nut who will only further NPR's liberal agenda."

    Violet Anderson Weft Straightener
  • "Just to make sure, somebody's running Sesame Street now, right?"

    Andy Elliman Unemployed

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