New Oil Field Discovered

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Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.

New Oil Field Discovered

The Chevron Corporation has discovered an oil field in the Gulf of Mexico which could possibly produce 6,000 barrels a day. What do you think?
  • "And to think I was going to have trouble finding a market for my diesel-powered laptop."

    Jeremy Slocumb
    Inventor
  • "I'd say after 4 billion years, the environment has had a pretty good run."

    Sheryl Mulhally
    Archivist
  • Hopefully this news will bring smiles to the faces of those poor oil executives whose only good news last year was record profit."

    Brandon Lyle
    Systems Analyst
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