New Oil Field Discovered

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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New Oil Field Discovered

The Chevron Corporation has discovered an oil field in the Gulf of Mexico which could possibly produce 6,000 barrels a day. What do you think?
  • "And to think I was going to have trouble finding a market for my diesel-powered laptop."

    Jeremy Slocumb
  • "I'd say after 4 billion years, the environment has had a pretty good run."

    Sheryl Mulhally
  • Hopefully this news will bring smiles to the faces of those poor oil executives whose only good news last year was record profit."

    Brandon Lyle
    Systems Analyst