New Orleans Pets

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‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Coworkers Pull Off Daring One-Hour Lunch Break

TUCSON, AZ—Saying they couldn’t believe such a wild exploit had even been attempted, employees at local marketing firm Synergy Media Services told reporters they were still completely dumbfounded Thursday after account manager Tim Gibbons managed to pull off a daring one-hour lunch break.

New Orleans Pets

According to reports, many people in New Orleans are reluctant to evacuate because they don't want to leave their pets. What do you think?
  • "As the owner of a Chihuahua, I've been looking for an excuse to ditch that damn thing for years."

    Rebecca Basset
    Systems Analyst
  • "I don’t blame them. With the situation down there the way it is, those pets are a valuable food source."

    Marcus Brauer
    Custodian
  • "Kitties and doggies in trouble? Finally, something to put a human face on this tragedy."

    Walt Kirsch
    Tax Preparer
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