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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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New Orleans Survives Hurricane

Seven years to the day after Hurricane Katrina made landfall, New Orleans managed to survive a battering from Hurricane Isaac yesterday, with its reinforced system of levees keeping the city largely dry and safe amid the Category 1 storm. What do you think?

  • “It’s reassuring to know that New Orleans is now equipped to handle a hurricane much less powerful than Katrina.”

    Howard Garcia Jr. Unemployed
  • “I guess crippling poverty is going to have to do the work all by itself then.”

    Elsie Kanew Acid Filler
  • “Oh, yeah, well Sean Penn’s heading down there anyway.”

    Dick McQuarrie Endodontist
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