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Politics

Priebus Grateful He Had So Little Dignity To Begin With

WASHINGTON—Taking stock of his present circumstances as he packed up his belongings and exited the West Wing after being pushed out of office by the president of the United States, former White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus expressed a sense of gratitude Friday that he had so little dignity to begin with.

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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New President, New Website

WhiteHouse.gov, the official website of the president and vice president, was relaunched Tuesday and includes links to Obama's weekly video address and a blog. What do you think?
  • "I question the ethics of Rahm Emanuel's 'Blind D.C. Gossip Items' page, but it is pretty dishy."

    Mark Judson Accounting Clerk
  • "I'm going to miss the ‘Those Who Should Die’ feature on the old site."

    Scott Carpenter Aircraft Deicer
  • "Finally, a president who understands technology. Oh, and human rights. And climate change, foreign policy, and the Constitution."

    Kristina Keyton Pharmacy Technician Instructor

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Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

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