New President, New Website

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Vol 45 Issue 04

Area Teen Up To Something

GREENFIELD, OH—"I don't like how I can't see his face," said a resident, who attributed the teen’s behavior to the music industry's lack of positive role models.

Tina Turner Burns Down Legs For Insurance Money

LOS ANGELES—Police officers arrested Tina Turner this week on suspicion of arson, reckless endangerment, and insurance fraud, following allegations that the legendary R&B singer burned down her legs for financial gain.

New Virus Infects One In 16 PCs

A computer scan by Panda Security showed that almost 6 percent of Windows systems were infected with the Conficker/Downanup worm, which harvests...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

New President, New Website

WhiteHouse.gov, the official website of the president and vice president, was relaunched Tuesday and includes links to Obama's weekly video address and a blog. What do you think?
  • "I question the ethics of Rahm Emanuel's 'Blind D.C. Gossip Items' page, but it is pretty dishy."

    Mark Judson
    Accounting Clerk
  • "I'm going to miss the ‘Those Who Should Die’ feature on the old site."

    Scott Carpenter
    Aircraft Deicer
  • "Finally, a president who understands technology. Oh, and human rights. And climate change, foreign policy, and the Constitution."

    Kristina Keyton
    Pharmacy Technician Instructor
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