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‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.

FDA Rents Party House Upstate To Test New Drug

TOBYHANNA, PA—With preclinical studies of an in-development cholesterol-reducing medication now complete, Food and Drug Administration officials confirmed Monday they would be conducting initial trials of the new drug at a large party house they had rented in upstate Pennsylvania.

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.
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New Trojan Horse Strikes Mac

A rare new Trojan horse that targets Mac users and takes over their computers has been found on pornographic websites. What do you think?
  • "Though I know this Mac virus is undesirable, its rarity gives me an unquenchable thirst to possess it."

    Rick Donnelly Ground Crew
  • "Before I answer I'd first like to know what the current societal views are regarding online pornography."

    Bettie Farnsworth Stocker
  • "Wait a minute. You can access porn on something that isn't a wall calendar? When did that happen?"

    Dan Benincasa Systems Analyst

More from this section

FDA Rents Party House Upstate To Test New Drug

TOBYHANNA, PA—With preclinical studies of an in-development cholesterol-reducing medication now complete, Food and Drug Administration officials confirmed Monday they would be conducting initial trials of the new drug at a large party house they had rented in upstate Pennsylvania.

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