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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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New Year's Resolutions

Every year, Americans celebrate the New Year by resolving to change some aspect of their lives. What is your New Year's resolution?
  • "Thanks for the heads-up. I'm going to make my resolution now and get a week's jump on all the other chumps."

    Darcy Fletcher Elevator Inspector
  • "I observe the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanah, which has already happened. For that New Year, I resolved to let everyone know that January 1st is not the only New Year."

    Ross Bernstein Systems Analyst
  • "I'm glad New Year's is coming up. I've been looking for an excuse to finally take care of this gangrenous leg."

    Matt Tulley Cabinetmaker
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