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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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New York Adds ‘Texting Zones’ To Highways

New York governor Andrew Cuomo announced the introduction of special “texting zones” along the state’s highways, which are designated parking areas and rest stops where motorists can pull over to check and send text messages. What do you think?

  • “The danger of crashing is what makes texting such a turn-on.”

    Jay Molla Food Science Technician
  • “But if you’ve ever been driving and gotten a text asking ‘where we watchin game?’ you know it can’t wait.”

    Mike Sprissler Cartographer
  • “That’s all right. I think I’ll just keep using the right lane.”

    Donna Balmer Bailiff
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