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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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New York Court: Lap Dances Not Tax-Exempt

Ruling that lap dances do not qualify for tax-exempt status as a "dramatic or musical art performance," a New York court has ordered a gentleman’s club to pay nearly $125,00 in back taxes. What do you think?

  • “Wait, so if it wasn’t just a performance, then that means…she was really into me after all! I knew it!”

    Mark Neeley Weigher and Mixer
  • "The club did it all wrong. First, it needed to get an MFA. Second, apply for and receive an NEA grant. Third, center its dramatic or musical art performance around a withering condemnation of the objectification of women through the ironic usage of the male gaze."

    Kirsten Anderson Stop Attacher
  • "What about if she pees on you? Doesn't that make things art these days?"

    Jonah Elliman Unemployed

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