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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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New York Governor Resigns

After confessing to being involved in a prostitution ring, New York governor Eliot Spitzer resigned Wednesday. What do you think?
  • "How embarrassing. I hope the media doesn't make too big a deal out of this story of big money, unbridled power, and hot sex."

    Amy Schilling Art Therapist
  • "I can't blame Spitzer, really. Have you ever been to Albany? Not a lot to do up there except govern."

    Trey Shoemate Plumber's Assistant
  • "My daughter lives in New York! I hope to God she wasn't involved—was she one of the prostitutes? Is my daughter a prostitute? Has anyone in New York seen Laura Mallen?"

    Paul Mallen Systems Analyst

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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