New York Outlaws Pet Tattoos, Piercings

Top Headlines

Recent News

Most Likely Candidates For Trump’s Cabinet

If elected president, Donald Trump will have the opportunity to nominate up to 15 cabinet members, each advising him on executive departments. Here are the most rumored choices for Trump’s inner circle.

Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Siblings Each Hoping Other One Will Take Care Of Aging Parents Someday

CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

New York Outlaws Pet Tattoos, Piercings

New York lawmakers have passed a bill forbidding pet owners from giving their pets tattoos, piercings, and other body modifications under the argument that it constitutes animal cruelty. What do you think?

  • “That’s bullshit! Here's Luna’s paw print, right on the consent form!”

    Martha Toker Trail Guide
  • “That’s great to hear, because I’m the kind of guy who needs a law to stop him from doing this.”

    David Aylward Systems Analyst
  • “They clearly have no idea how difficult it is to remove ear gauges from a dachshund.”

    Jim Ruch Coffee Taster


Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close