New York Passes Gun Control Bill

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.

New York Passes Gun Control Bill

New York state lawmakers passed a bill today tightening restrictions on the sale of assault weapons, forcing current owners of such guns to register them with the state, and limiting the ability of the mentally ill to obtain firearms, making the state’s gun laws the most restrictive in the nation. What do you think?

  • “See how much political change is possible with just a few dozen unspeakable tragedies?”

    Geno Browning
  • “So up until now, we were selling assault rifles to the mentally ill?”

    Harriet Lombardo
  • “I miss Old New York, where a guy could kick back at the bar with a cigarette, a 32-ounce soda, and his assault rifle.”

    Jim Metzman
    Freight Inspector