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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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New York To ‘Shut Off’ Niagara Falls

In order to remove old, defunct bridges from the site and lay foundation for new ones, the state of New York will use a process called dewatering to briefly halt the flow of Niagara Falls, a relatively simple procedure that is projected to cost $3 million. What do you think?

  • “As long as it’s easy and cheap, I’m all for upending the laws of nature.”

    Andy Wilcop Shoe Lacer
  • “But crumbling infrastructure is part of the American aesthetic.”

    Georgia Vernon Network Scheduler
  • “Get those skateboards ready!”

    Jack Teagan Loom Instructor
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